Hey Internet, Do These Boys Want Me or Not?
Lots of girls (not all of them, just the ones like me, the ones with hair and tits and smartphones) are really fucking weird. We spend a scary amount of time deciphering texts from losers with...
View ArticleBollocks to the Hippocratic Oath: Please Don't Stuff Your Cock
Disclaimer: Some of you might remember this column from a few years back when we still lived at Viceland. When we moved to VICE.com, though, it disappeared, so now we've dug it up. Enjoy. Hey, you...
View ArticleJoan Crawford Can Really Belt It Out
The inspiration for this post sprung from two things: 1) I recently purchased, and watched, Mommie Dearest on DVD. This wasn't just any 'ol DVD though, it was the "Hollywood Royalty/Special...
View ArticleGavin Haynes's Sleepless Nights: Soon Old People Will Suck the Youth Right...
Readers, this is my new column. Dedicated to 3 AM thinking: to those nights when I toss and turn in my bed, and my train of thought derails, catches fire, falls off a cliff, and there are no...
View ArticleA Visit to the German Hygiene Museum
Germans have had a curatorial interest in hygiene since at least 1911, when the Dresden-based mouthwash magnate Karl August Ligner organized the first International Hygiene Exhibition. The concept of...
View ArticleFast Times at Suzuka Circuit
Photo via Red Bull Hyperbole is a basic human instinct that often cries out to be satisfied. We want to find a thing, and then consume whatever is the most of that thing. It’s why people who liked...
View ArticleDie Antwoord Responds to "Fatty Boom Boom" Youtube Comments
When Noisey premiered Die Antwoord's video for "Fatty Boom Boom" last week, they had no idea the video would blow up the internet like it did, even starting beef between the South African rappers and...
View ArticleWorld Peace Update
Last week, the UK and France came so close to having a real, bona fide war about scallops that you could almost smell the garlic. I polished my LARPing armor and began practicing my French, but alas,...
View ArticleGoing Really Down Under
These images are from two new series by Australian-born, Berlin-based photographer Jared O’Sullivan. The photos were taken while he was still living in the Land Down Under. When most people think of...
View ArticleQuestion of the Day: Would You Rather Have Two Moms or Two Dads?
The gay marriage debate is still raging. Idiot bigots believe that gay parents will morally corrupt their child, who will morally corrupt their friends, who will then morally corrupt everyone around...
View ArticleA Very Popular App
Here’s the thing with regards to relative coolness: It’s good to be cool and it’s hip to be square. No one likes to party with losers and if you’d like to have a say, it’s important to stay on top of...
View ArticleThe Creators Project: Matt Pyke
As the founder and creative director of Universal Everything, Matt Pyke has a mission to create gorgeous visual spectacles on screen that reinterpret the nuances of natural human motion. His...
View ArticleAtheism - Sexism = Atheism +
Photo courtesy of Jennifer McCreight Being an atheist is a hassle, but being a lady atheist can be the pits. Not only do you have to deal with Christians saying you’re going to hell all the time, your...
View ArticleMy Friends Started a Bus Company in Congo
The two first “Amani Express” buses In August 2010, I traveled to Rwanda with three friends to cover the presidential election. We spent a month there and I headed back to Europe, but my...
View ArticleMexico City's Miniature Michael Jacksons
I haven't really been feeling the Halloween build up this year; the inevitability of thousands of Jimmy Saviles roaming the streets of London just kind of bums me out. But I walked into the office...
View ArticleA Dancing Mummy K-hole
In the spirit of Halloween I’m sharing with you my top five dancing mummy videos. I’m not including videos by the band the Mummy’s because they don’t really dance and I will spare you the terrifyingly...
View ArticleRoom Service with Tracey Emin and Gary Indiana
A room at the Standard. Night. An Alice Neel documentary on the TV with the sound off. —Mary Woronov said that before she could start painting, she was like a dog trying to figure out where...
View ArticleBreaking into Porn on Purpose
All photos by Nate Miller and Travis McFarland The standard line about Los Angeles is that it’s a lonely place that will wreck the spirit of a creative mind. It’s big, ugly, and horrifically...
View ArticleSee the History and Future of the Gif in Six Minutes
A while back, our buddies at Motherboard interviewed Chicago artists Jason Lazarus and Eric Fleischauer about the feature-length gif film they were making. Gifs, in case this is the first web page you...
View ArticleNew York Decided to Tax Art That Gives People Boners
A dancer at Nite Moves. Photo by John Figlesthaler. On Tuesday the flaccid penis fans on the New York State Supreme Court dropped the hammer on Nite Moves, a strip club on the outskirts of Albany that...
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