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Obseshes: Welcome to My Obseshes
Some things that I like/love/am emotionally huggled by are forever: gelatin-based candy products, touching my hair, Charlie Rose, maps (but not for art; don’t do that), texture of any kind, freedom....
View ArticleI Punched My Boss in the Face
“You just punch the clock / Too scared to punch your boss!” - Dead Kennedys I punched my boss in the face. He told me he was going to lower my pay. I invited him to suck my dick and walked out. He...
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Taji's Mahal - Hanging Out with the Stale Bagel
For this week's Mahal, I got to catch up with artist Jayme Lemperle. We have been skating together for years, and he even drew me a really cool Ryan Sheckler portrait for VICE's Full Bleed column a...
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Celebrating the End of Capitalism on Lake Titicaca
While Americans were stockpiling bottled water and canned food in anticipation of the end of the world, I thought it best to be as close as possible to Heaven, just in case. So I heeded the call of...
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Fighting Wildfires in Western Idaho
As we’re driving over the crest of the McKenzie Highway, through the lava fields that stretch like rocky scars on both sides of the road, the moon is almost full. It casts its glow over the black...
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Weediquette - Backrolling
If there’s one thing you should know about the Kid, it’s that the Kid is a creature of habit. Like anyone, I’ve established routines throughout my life. There’s a certain way that I brush my teeth,...
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On the Road with Libya’s Lions of the Desert
The smoke from Taha’s massive cone joint flowed through the cabin of our silver Hummer. The A/C was on high and blew long fingers of smoke to the back seat. We were all mellow. Taha’s aviator...
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The Woman Who Trains Dogs to Have Sex with Humans
Meet Anna, a Ukrainian prostitute who is originally from Odessa but currently lives and thrives in the sex-for-money business in Holland. After I met her in an online porn chatroom, she started...
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'Zero Dark Thirty' Made Me Write This
What more can be said about the controversy over the kill-Osama film Zero Dark Thirty? Not much it seems, but maybe something can be sung about it. The discussion centers around a harsh set of scenes...
View ArticleESG Don't Appreciate Your Sample Credits
In the early 1980s, three sisters from the South Bronx were given instruments by their mum in an attempt to keep them off the streets. The sisters formed ESG, and have spent the past 34 years creating...
View ArticleFear and Loathing at the Strip Mall Gun Range
Violent tragedies like the shootings at Newtown, Connecticut's Sandy Hook Elementary and Aurora, Colorado's Century movie theater continue to change our concepts of fear and safety. Our relationship...
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Good Morning, Sinners... with Warren Ellis: The Inevitable Crapness of 2013
So I'm sitting down with a rare opportunity to watch some television. I find something in the guide I want to see (seriously, why don't TV remotes have QWERTY keyboards, or even predictive text like...
View ArticleFresh Off the Boat: Back in Taiwan - Trailer
Coming up on the next installments of Fresh Off the Boat’s Taiwan adventure, Eddie goes deep into Taiwan’s unique subcultures. He vibes out in the metal scene, judges a cosplay fashion show, and taste...
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Is Poking Holes in Condoms a Sexual Assault?
I’m not sure if most of you remember Craig Jaret Hutchinson? He is the 42-year-old Canadian man (and by man, I mean psycho) from Clyde River, Nunavut, who poked holes in an entire pack of condoms in...
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I Was a Suspected School Shooter
The author in high school. By now, the Newtown, Connecticut, shooting has faded into memory for many people, a horrible event already superseded in the headlines by other horrible events. At the time...
View ArticleMasturbating Midgets, Cocaine, and Acid - The People Vs. Fidlar
People on the Internet are too awkward (or, you know, far away) to say anything to your face, so they leave weird shit in the comments section. Noisey got LA skate punks FIDLAR to call out the trolls...
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Reality Check
I can’t tell you much of a personal nature about Sunando Sen. I only knew him as a helpful, pleasant, intelligent person who worked at the NY Copy and Printing Center at the end of my block for many...
View ArticleDOs & DON'Ts: Venice Beach
Cultural assassins Fat Jew and Cat Marnell commandeer a surveillance van to make fun of the best dressed and hottest messes on the streets of Venice Beach. No one is safe. Check out more DOs &...
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Dogmageddon: Too Much Jesus in the Locker Room
I've interviewed former-Angels/now-Tigers outfielder Torii Hunter before. He seemed like a nice guy. Very forthcoming, lovable, and full of joy during the 10 minutes or so I spent with him on the...
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