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Hey Justice Scalia, Are These Sex Acts OK?
Antonin Scalia is a Supreme Court Justice, which means he’s an important guy. He’s such a big shot he gets to wear a robe at work and no one says anything, and he also gets invited to speak at places...
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Tour Stories: Happy Fucking Holidays
I have been very fortunate to not have to deal with many holiday parties throughout my tenure in the music industry. When I worked in corporate America, it was that night the whores in the office got...
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Question of the Day: Who's Your Daddy?
Almost 2012 years ago, a certain famous daddy helped create a certain famous son. This daddy was a busy daddy, so he shot a few lightning bolts from his heavenly sack and bounced, leaving his son to...
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Tell me About your Bunker
It was 2009 when Simon Young realised the world was going to end. He was living in Tenterfield at the time – an inland beef town some 700 kilometres north of Sydney. “And one night I had this dream...
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Sarin, PCP, and Col. James S. Ketchum
You've probably heard a little bit about the top secret experiment the Army conducted during the Cold War. A room glowing that flourescent blue, with an unwitting soldier seated in the middle. A...
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Bollocks to the Hippocratic Oath: Fat Chance
Disclaimer: Some of you might remember this column from a few years back when we still lived at Viceland. When we moved to VICE.com, though, it disappeared, so now we've dug it up. Enjoy. Hey, you...
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Metta World Peace Declares War on Good Rap
It’s been repeated to the point where it’s something approaching conventional wisdom: “All rappers want to be basketball players, and all basketball players want to be rappers.” While that’s sort of a...
View ArticleBangkok Is a Paradise
About a year and a half ago, photographer Theo Cottle sparked our "Paradise" series with his idylic pictures from his hometown of Bristol. A few months later, he followed those up with a bunch of...
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World Peace Update
Last week's World Peace Update looked at the riots engulfing Slovenia, the trigger-happy Tunisian policemen who tried to blind the citizens of Siliana, and the looming possibility of Bashar al-Assad...
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Corporate Shilling - The 2012 VICE Gift Guide
While for many the holidays are a time of brotherly love and familial bonding, for us it's mostly just a time to appease the suits who hawk their wares on this website. It's a tradition for us, much...
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Are Canadians About to Be Prosecuted for File Sharing?
As of late, a company named Canipre has been drumming up a lot of shadily defined fear mongering against “one million Canadians” who they insist are illegally downloading copyrighted material. If you...
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Cat Got Your Brain?
The terror of Toxoplasma gondii, the brain-controlling parasite that lives in cats, has by now been hyped enough to make everyone give their cats a sidelong glance. The parasite works something like...
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The Things They Throw out on the Side of the Road
Chester County, Pennsylvania, where I live, was once considered the land of milk and honey. Andrew Wyeth, that famous American realist who painted “Christina’s World,” grew up here soaking up the...
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All the Books I Read in 2012
I hate end-of-the-year best-of lists. They are short-sighted and usually hive-mindish. They feel counter-productive or something, like they are trying to trick you. Instead, here’s a list of...
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VICE Premiere: 'Purp, Wind & Fire' by Grip Plyaz
<a href="http://gripplyaz.bandcamp.com/album/purp-wind-fire-3"...
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Question of the Day: What Is the Least Trustworthy Profession?
This is a hard one right? There are so many awful blood sucking vampire squids out there syphoning the life-force out of this Earth and the good people who live in it. But who's the worst? Maybe we...
View ArticleOfferings to the Visual World
Maybe I have a genetic predisposition to obsess over photos. I’m not sure how else to begin to explain it. As a kid growing up in the 1950s, I was the subject photographed on occasions of family...
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We Saw This: Von
Black metal’s default emotional setting is misery. The kind of blighted misery that can compel a person to paint their faces to look like a dead person and shriek into a microphone like some kind of...
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Prolate Spheroid Preview: The Ennui of Raiders-Chiefs
Dozens of men separate into two teams, muscled and angry and armored in pads and helmets and uniforms, gather inside an arena under an empty sky in Oakland. The groups stare at each other, stomping...
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Fightland: I'm a Man of Letters Learning to Fight with an MMA Team
A few months ago, in a rash moment, I took up with an MMA team. I wanted to learn how to spar, and they seemed the likeliest teachers. The team—which includes a professional MMA fighter, several...
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