Boyle's Brains: What Cat Food Tastes Like
While preparing dinner at a friend’s apartment a few nights ago, I asked if their cat should eat too. Then someone fed the cat. Then I asked if I should eat cat food too. Then people said “yes” and I...
View ArticleThe Golden Age of the Cockroach
Illustration by Michele Witchipoo Every era in art has a new favored subject. The Etruscans looked to Hercules; painters of the Renaissance reenvisioned the Bible; the American Ashcan School rendered...
View ArticlePopping the Marks: Lifetime’s Assassination of Malcolm X
Betty & Coretta features Angela Bassett as Coretta Scott King and Mary J. Blige as Betty Shabazz. The Lifetime Original Movie premiered Saturday, February 2. The first voice we hear in Lifetime’s...
View ArticleThe Hat-Wearing Moron Taxonomy
You're not an idiot, and you’re probably old enough and wise enough now to know that the world is full of idiots. Overflowing, you could say. But sometimes sifting your garden-variety dickheads from...
View ArticleSex, Drugs, and Rock 'N' Roll: Loads, Coffee, and Younolovebunny
SEX - BOYS AND THEIR JIZZ "Jizz in my hair, jizz on my shiny American Apparel underwear. Pull out and jizz on my quilt, immediately jump in the shower 'cause you got mad-Catholic guilt" —Sophie Saint...
View ArticleQuestion of the Day: Would You Sleep with Your Drug Dealer?
Sleeping with your drug dealer seems like a good idea at first. He's got a job where he makes a ton of money and he's a hit at parties and social gatherings. The down side is that he never answers the...
View ArticleMotivational Hemorrhoids
Potential relief from the anal prison of hemorrhoid pain. If karma truly exists, then I must have murdered a baby to deserve hemorrhoids this bad. It feels like my ass is being torn apart with a razor...
View ArticleExplaining Alistair Overeem's Muscle Burnout
[Ed. note: Last Saturday night, at UFC 156, behemoth Dutch kickboxer Alistair Overeem got knocked out standing up by Antonio "Bigfoot" Silva after battering Silva for the the better part of two...
View ArticleGrave Babies Show Us Their Stuff, and Premiere "No Fear"
Grave Babies are one of our new favorite bands and their album Crusher comes out later this month on one of our favorite labels, Hardly Art. In the meantime, check out this exclusive Cribs-style photo...
View ArticleOff Hollywood - Denise Crosby
As mainstream cinema focuses its attention on the latest CGI accomplishments and the production of remakes, I felt it was important to remember the individuals who paved the yellow brick road. So I...
View ArticleLove Thy Catcaller
Every day the same elderly crackhead fawns over my size-six feet as I pass him on 14th street. “She’s got them tiny sexy feet,” he stammers, “I like them tiny sexy feet.” I walk faster, but don’t...
View ArticleI Couchsurfed with Settlers in the Holy Land
A couple of months ago, my friend was on a rant (albeit, a very coherent one) about how CouchSurfing's website supports Zionism by allowing settlers in the West Bank to list their location as "Judea...
View ArticlePopping the Marks: Kanye West in a Kilt Has Lord Jamar So Hard Right Now
“Y’all Cee where the Kanye sh*t is taking us right? #halfafag.” —Lord Jamar Because it’s time to “rebuke all this gay shit,” Lord Jamar has buried himself on Twitter over another...
View ArticleThe Monopoly-Brand Monopoly Cat Is Coming For Your Eyeballs
Monopoly is a strange game. You’ve played it, right guys? The game with the fake money and the real avarice? The four-hour hole in your life of leisure time voluntarily spent on math, legal wrangling,...
View ArticleEpicly Later'd: Eric Dressen - Part 4
Eric Dressen takes his talents over to Santa Cruz after he influences all the gnarliest skaters ever with his Speed Wheels part. Enjoy!
View ArticleSewing for the Heart
Art by Kike Besada. Yoko Ogawa writes creepy, ominous gothic novels and stories—sort of like a Japanese Flannery O’Connor or Shirley Jackson. Except sexier and a lot more Asian. She came to prominence...
View ArticleGetting Fresh with Wilbert: I Talked to Jeremy Scott and Rochambeau on Video...
You guys need to bear with me, because I'm still pretty new to this whole fashion thing. It's such a fresh experience for me, that unlike everyone else in New York right now—I'm actually excited for...
View ArticleQuestion of the Day: Who Is the Worst Style Icon?
Oh shit, it's New York Fashion Week again? Now all the coffee shops in New York are going to be overrun with buttholes in Saran Wrap outfits, sucking up all the wi-fi, and hogging all the outlets. I...
View ArticleMeet the Nieratkos: The World’s Biggest Beatles Fan
My wife’s retarded uncle, Lonnie, barely speaks, but if you put on a Beatles song he’ll sing all the words. Doesn’t matter what song—he knows them all. Recognizing his Beatle love, the family makes it...
View ArticleDov Hikind Hates Judith Butler and Loves Israel
Dov Hikind was in his element in front of Brooklyn College last week, the idyllic school that is now ground zero for a raging controversy over academic freedom. Brooklyn's state assemblyman, an...
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