There's just a short list of things that I think about with frequent consistency. Here's that list:
1) Butts
2) Pizza
3) Cats
4) What's Sandra Bernhard up to?
I've tried tweeting at Sandra Bernhard to make her be my friend on several occasions, but she wasn't having it. I even wrote this thing about her once, but it didn't turn her head. I don't let these things get me down though, because I know that at the end of every year, we'll share oxygen at at least one of her year end shows at Joe's Pub in NY. This is the one and only time where she is forced to be in the same room with me, and all the other people who pay money to be her friend.
If you've never seen Sandra perform live, I'm afraid for the quality of your life. Here's a taste of what you're in for:
Sandra will be doing two shows a night at Joe's Pub from 12/27 -12/31. You should buy your tickets right now. Look for me there. I'll be the one crying, taking my shirt off.