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Voter's Guide for the Indecisive
I voted in the US election via absentee ballot this year, because I am registered in North Carolina, which is a swing state, and I figured I should do my part to swing it my way. Filling out an...
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I Worked at Spooky World for a Night
Clowns are the most terrifying things in the whole goddamn world. They make me want to pee myself. They’re the antithesis of childhood merriment, and anyone who disagrees with that statement makes no...
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How to Ruin a High School Reunion
Most people who bother to go to their ten-year high school reunion have an agenda. Some are looking to impress fellow graduates who tormented them. Others are hoping to have a sexual encounter on or...
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I Made Our Interns Humiliate Each Other for Halloween
Originally, I wanted to personally humiliate our interns by dressing them up in the stupidest and most degrading costumes I could think of. Unfortunately, the killjoys in our HR department said I'm...
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The VICE Guide to Being Trans
We've had a gay guide and a lesbian guide already, so in an effort to include the entire LGBT spectrum, we got our friend Paris (pictured above) to write a transgender guide. Bisexuals, you're just...
View ArticleWe Went to the Total Trash Halloween Bash
The Bay Area tends to go big on Halloween, especially San Francisco, known for its legendary revelry. You could feel it in the air. It was Friday night and there had been plenty of much-deserved hype...
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Meet the Nieratkos: That Bitch Sandy Took Away My Porn
Crack dens are so easy to spot. Like most people in New Jersey, I lost power Sunday night due to that historic bitch, Hurricane Sandy. After three days without the internet I now know what it's like...
View ArticleHow I Faked Obama's Kenyan Birth
I am Nimrod Kamer, aka Peter Rehnquist, the creator of the "real" Obama Kenya Birth 2012 film. I just wanted to state, for the record, that I intentionally inserted very obvious clues into the video...
View ArticleGuns, God, and No Democrats at Knob Creek
"Find me the one Democrat at this thing." That was the task presented to me by my new denim-clad friend. Who at this machine gun shoot would even ponder voting for Barack Hussein Obama, the man who...
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The Destruction of Breezy Point
Two nights ago during Hurricane Sandy, while many New Yorkers were crying about having no internet, the people in Breezy Point, Queens, watched their neighborhood become a water-logged vision of hell....
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Black Lips Want You to Have a Happy Hallowe'en
Here's another feeble attempt to remind all y'all that today's Halloween, and not just the day after a post-tropical storm tore through the Eastern Seaboard and annihilated everything in its path like...
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Question of the Day: Are You Pissed That Disney Is Making a New 'Star Wars'?
If you woke up this morning to the sound of distressed, nasal cries enveloping all your ear space, you probably checked the internet (something New Yorkers can't do right now) to discover that George...
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Photographing the Towns Communist Romania Forgot
Ioana Cîrlig and Marin Raica had been working as press photographers for their whole professional careers, until they realized that running around at all hours of the day, having their lives dictated...
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Scientists in Wales Have Been Sewing Kittens' Eyes Shut
It seems that Cardiff University have been going to extreme lengths to rebuff the old stereotype that the Welsh love animals more than the Scottish love violence and the Irish love getting shit-faced....
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Skinema: Anal Lessons
ANAL LESSONS Dir: Mike Adriano Rating: 10 MikeAdriano.com EvilAngel.com Are there scouts in the porn business like in baseball who travel the minor-league circuit looking for the next big star? If so,...
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World Peace Update
Humans found a vicious, unsuspecting competitor in fucking the world up this week: Nature, who decided to fart out Hurricane Sandy and hog up all the limelight. So, as Kurds took on the streets of...
View ArticleSnoop Lion Has a New Video for "La La La," Directed by Eli Roth
Our very own Snoop Lion just released an amazing video for the song "La La La" off of his upcoming Reincarnated album. The video was directed by Eli Roth, which is too mindblowingly amazing to even...
View ArticleNoisey: Zombie Toddlers Own the Streets in HEALTH's New Short Film
The early-to-mid aughts was a weird time for noise rock. Within a five-year period, basically everybody who'd ever taken a RISD college tour started up a noise band, with varying degrees of success....
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An Inconvenient Urethra
Wuddup ladies, are you ready to get that bladder emptied? Oh wait, you can’t because you’re in public and your urethra is on your vagina and in your pants forever. Well, lucky for you the design team...
View ArticleNoisey: One Man Metal Part 3
Here's the third and final part of our documentary about solo artists living on the fringes of black metal. We say goodbye to Leviathan, Striborg, and Xasthur, ending things on a note of isolation and...
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