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Pen Pals: Rehab or Prison?
I know for a fact that incarceration is about as cool as an explosive wet fart shooting out my asshole, but what about rehab? Is there a chance that it could be somewhat kinda a lil’ bit better,...
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Question of the Day: Should Women Be Allowed to Fight on the Frontline?
Women are great at washing up, looking after the kids, and doing the cooking for their hardworking husbands. That's how it's been for years, which is probably why literally no one likes it when people...
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We Saw This: Hirsute Pursuit
Ass was literally everywhere the other night when Hirsute Pursuit played their first announced show. If that wasn’t enough, Boyd Rice flew in as support. The icing on the cake was Cult of Youth as an...
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What's New in Meat V
This is the column where basically I dig through the internet for the most interesting (read: grossest) news stories involving meat and shit them out for you in soft, semi-digested info-morsels. We...
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Inside the Movement to Give Away Your Internet for the Good of Humanity
Search your possible wireless connections right now--provided you're nowhere near a cafe or a fast food restaurant hotspot--and chances are you'll find a range of tantalizing options: a "Welcome to...
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VICE Shorts: I'm Short, Not Stupid Presents: Asparagus
[Editor's Note: Welcome to "I'm Short, Not Stupid," a weekly column focused on highlighting rare and obscure short films. Enjoy this flick (the video is at the bottom) and check back next week for...
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The Roster for Ken Miller's 'Photography' Show Will Blow Your Mind
Photograph by Terry Richardson, Courtesy of Ken Miller When we first saw the line up for the new photo show opening tomorrow at the Aperture Foundation Gallery, simply titled Photography, we fell out...
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Question of the Day: Would You Date Your Dog?
Humans make the worst romantic partners. They’ll cheat on you, they’ll lie to you, they’ll alternately not text you for days and then text you at 4 AM, they’ll do that thing where they go, “I’m OK,...
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Saadi Gaddafi Is Not a War Criminal, "He's a Fun Guy," Says His Bodyguard
Saadi Gaddafi is the third son of Libya’s late dictator, Colonel Muammar Gaddafi. The international playboy and failed soccer player never shared his father’s penchant for a phalanx of female...
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Notes from a Hitter: How Football Battered My Brain
The author in action on his high school team. By the age of 18, I had undergone enough head trauma playing football to cause irrevocable damage to my brain. The three (documented) concussions I...
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Delicious with Mish Episode Thirteen: Featuring Carson Cox of Merchandise
People in Florida are weird. I learned this a long time ago, but Carson Cox, the frontman of Merchandise, solidified this when I interviewed him for this podcast and he told me he thought Canadian...
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A Black Flag Kid Wrote a Book of Poems
By now you've probably heard about the Black Flag reunion that everyone is creaming themselves over. Unfortunately, as of right now it looks like they’re only playing three shows, so you'll probably...
View ArticleNoisey: Noisey Raps - The Long Live A$AP Tour
For the first episode of Noisey Raps, host Wilbert L. Cooper got unreal access to the LONGLIVEA$AP Tour, featuring performances by A$AP Rocky, Schoolboy Q, and Danny Brown, and interviews with DJ...
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Super Bowl Media Day… On Acid!
My first decision was whether to take the five-dose strip of LSD before or after I arrived at the Superdome. I settled on doing it after, which turned out to be the right choice. The line for media to...
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Why Non-Alcoholic Beer Is the Best Kind
I haven’t had any alcohol for a year. I’m not sure I can recommend sobriety for everybody, but it did OK things for me. I don’t blame my problems on other people as much. I can finish a higher...
View ArticleEpicly Later'd: Eric Dressen - Part 3
In part three, Eric D. is fully on the new Dogtown team, and all of a sudden, as Jessie Martinez puts it, he turns into a skateboard monster. Eric says that he wanted to do well because he didn't want...
View ArticleLet's Play Darts!
It seems like sports networks have ploughed a shit ton of money into darts recently. When you're watching it on TV, and the camera pans across the room, it's easy to survey the scene and arrive at the...
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Racism in MMA
For all the heat MMA takes for appealing only to the basest human instincts, the sport has been relatively free of the recent racism that has marred most other major sports. Maybe it’s because MMA is...
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Marineland Is a Hellhole
Marineland, Niagara Falls’ premier tourist destination, was opened in 1961 by John Holer. At the time, John was a portly Slovenian immigrant who couldn’t find work when he arrived to Canada. With what...
View ArticleIsrael Attacked Syria Yesterday, and Shit's Probably Going to Hit the Fan Now
Yesterday, Israel blew up a purported arms convoy on its way out of Syria. The attack, which killed at least two Syrians, apparently was aimed at stopping the weapons from falling into the hands of...
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