It’s Cyber Monday, which means it’s time to zip up that black pleather bodysuit, swallow the deals deals deals pill, and descend upon the Amazon matrix like a sleuthy, price-slashing spider. We’re only going to be spending more time in our hovel during the winter, so outfitting it for cozy movie nights and intimate dinner parties (mostly between us and our Sylvanians) is the move.
Cyber Monday is a great time to make big and smol purchases alike, whether you need new lighting charger cables to stay juiced and b00sted, or a 4K television that’s $200 off. Don’t let rhinestone cowboy boots give you the wrong impression, doll—these chicken/weed nug-filled pockets only go so deep, and we cherish all of the web’s best Cyber Monday deals…
Luckily, the best Amazon Cyber Monday deals aren’t just on tech and electronics, but home goods, kitchen tools, fashion, beauty, sexual wellness, and anything else that has made you think, “Damn, I really ought to be a person who owns one of those before people get suspicious.” Here are our top picks for the best bang for your buck over at Amazon.
The Best Amazon Cyber Monday Deals on Tech and Electronics
A sparkling 4K TV
This smart television has four times the resolution of an HD TV, which is as close to having the perfect vision of a mantis shrimp as we shall ever come, and neatly packages all your applications, streaming services, and more in one crisp screen. It's $40 right now for Cyber Monday.
These noise-cancelling headphones are $100 off
Damn. They’re by Sony, too, so you know they’re going to be good. “These wireless headphones fit the bill,” writes one reviewer about the set, which holds a charge for 35 hours and performs just as well with music as it does audiobooks.
Apple MFi-certified charging cables
No more frying your iPhone, Brad. That thing cost you a lot of your goblin coins, and deserves a swift charge by an Apple MFi stamp of approval cable like this one, which is on-sale in a five-pack.
The Best Amazon Cyber Monday Deals on Fashion and Footwear
Wrangler jeans for the price of avocado toast
Wrangler is one of our favorite denim slingers in the west, and these jeans have a 4.6-star average rating from over 26,000 reviews, with top marks for their sturdy material and quality of construction.
The best classic sunnies on sale
Once upon a 2009 Coachella we found god in these shades/a bangin’ TV On The Radio set. Both will never go out of style. RN, they're a whopping 50% off.
The best cozy joggers
Because we’ve worn down last winter’s pair, and these Champion sweatpants will make us feel like a winner. For once, Dad.
… Is it time for Crocs?
Yes. A thousand times yes. This pair of swanky black Crocs also has a fuzzy lining to keep those toes toasty during colder months and midnight snack runs. Best of all, they're up to 30% off.
The Best Amazon Cyber Monday Deals on Cookware and Food
The best Cyber Monday blender deals
Once you blend, you never go back. Amazon wasn’t kidding when they diced the price on stainless steel blenders from brands such as Calphalon, and immersion blenders from Braun for making that creamy squash soup.
This cult-favorite chef’s knife
Ah, the Imarku blade. It’s one of our absolute favorite fancy chef’s knives for under a hundred bucks. Many a battle has it seen between us and a flank of lamb/massive gourd/oddly shaped vegetables, and it’s always won out with perfect slices that feel like cutting through buttah—the blade is just that good. This is the lowest price we've ever seen it at.
The best Cyber Monday air fryer deal
We’ve put Ninja air fryers through hell (fried mayonnaise) and back, and concluded that they are excellent machines that make your life as a tired-but-hungry person who loves food way easier. The tofu crisps beautifully, the eggs fry with aplomb, and the sky's the limit for what you can cook up in an air fryer like this one (it’s a 6.5-quart boy). Put in a family of Cornish game hens, and tell us how it goes? You're saving more than $80 on this magic machine.
Stainless steel mixing bowls with lids
The Holy Grail is a set of nesting, stainless steel mixing bowls that come with their own lids. Think about how gratifying it will be to go straight from whipping up your sauces/cookie batter/meal prep bowls, lidding that sucker, and storing it right in the fridge? Easy street, and 32% off.
The Best Amazon Cyber Monday Deals on Wellness, Beauty, and Skincare
The suction vibrator to rule all suctions vibrators
Because wellness includes sexual wellness at Rec Room. The Satisfyer Pro 2 is the stuff of legend, the true GOAT of affordable oral simulators that targets the clitoris with air-pulse technology that feels like getting real head from a very gifted mouth. It’s our readers’ best-selling toy, and at under 30 bucks, this is the lowest price we’ve ever seen for it.
This Sonicare toothbrush is $70 off
We scrimp on a lot of things in life, being the resourceful dudes that we are [hanglides on dental dam], but you know what we don’t shortchange? The health of our teeth. The Sonicare toothbrush is a legend, and the keeper of happy and healthy gums.
There are major Mario Badescu deals
Check out all of the skincare deals on the cult brand, and consider scooping its top-rated lip balm before it sells out, as it is chapped lippy season.
Everyone loves this heated shiatsu massager
This shiatsu massager is like the Tom Hanks/Morgan Freeman/Dolly Parton of holiday presents, because who doesn’t love a deep tissue massage on-command? NAY, who doesn’t love the gentle, heated touch of a portable massaging scarf that can roll out all your kinks (but never quirks, you g00fy ghoul) in your neck?
The Best Amazon Cyber Monday Deals on Outdoor and Fitness Goods
The best Cyber Monday exercise bike
Building out your home gym, or looking for another way to run away from your problems? Same, same. This foldable, top-rated exercise bike is just the ticket, and $75 bucks off for Cyber Monday.
The outdoor best fire pit for your sabbaths
Whilst we love Solo Stoves—which are also on-sale for up to 35% off this Cyber Monday—we also love finding an even more affordable outdoor fire pit to huddle around this winter.
The best reusable bottle
When we die, cremate us and put us in a Hydro Flask. If you've been waiting to grab one when the price drops, now's the time, folks.
The Best Amazon Cyber Monday Deals on Home Goods, Mattresses, and Bedding
The best Cyber Monday mattress deal
Because becoming the proud owner of a Tuft & Needle mattress is the closest thing our generation will have to home ownership, and we’re not mad about it. This one's 30% off—meaning you're saving almost $270, which you can then use to buy yourself a basket of fancy sex toys to stash in the nightstand.
Get ready for fire season
OK, so next to teeth, air is also pretty damn important. The LEVOIT is one of Amazon’s best-selling air purifiers, and it’s on sale for Cyber Monday.
Happy deal sleuthing.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. This story is being continuously updated to reflect new information and hot deals.